What they don't prepare you for.

At the end of four years of intense schooling, I got a piece of paper that says my name and Bachelors of Arts. The idea was that I was an enlightened person ready to take on the world. Problem is, they do not know where you are going to go and what you are going to do. You are sent out to the world and you have got to make it.

What they do not prepare you for is life disconnected and the inescapable feeling of loneliness. Four years are spent with people who got to know you for you. After four years then, you are all supposed to go home and start your lives. What if your friends were your life? Now you have hundreds, maybe thousands of miles between you and the reason you gave a shit for four years.

I wish my inspiration for writing this was a result of boredom and to much time to think. And maybe it is. In the cold and compelling torment that is northeast Ohio, it has become common to feel like this daily. I do have my dreams and I am working towards them. Undergrad has most definitely prepared me for grad school. What I cannot seem to escape is the dullness of life between childhood and accomplishing ones dreams. You see, when children become adults and have to fend for themselves, they are thrown into a big muddy hole with everyone else who is an adult. Anyone who wants to make something of themselves has to get dirty and climb out of the hole. What they do not prepare you for is at school is this hole. Just because you made yourself a better person, does not mean you are exempt from the pit.

What they do not prepare you for is that you never get to take a break. You never get to be care free. You are not entitled to anything. There are always going to be stupid people. There is more meaning in your life than a party with your friends. They do not prepare you for how awful this all can feel. But they do show you something in yourself that you did not know was there and if that is not enough to get you through, then you're fucked. This is the brutal truth. It's not a happy story, unless you make it one somewhere down the road.